


To Be Yours

by inspiredotto



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Slow Burn Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith, Soft Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith/Zelda Spellman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:28:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28475427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inspiredotto/pseuds/inspiredotto
Summary: After deep losses and irreparable pain, Zelda and Lilith come together to try to deal with what they feel. Rediscovering and reframing a friendship that flourishes little by little and finds unexpected paths, blooming love and forgiveness in tired hearts, in condemned souls who together find reasons to face their traumas and survive.
Relationships: Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> this is not my language and my beta still couldn't fix it, I'm sorry. I will review soon.
> 
> I just couldn't wait to write this, so I'm posting it in between my work because this story needs to be told, developed. I have the sketches for the next chapters and I'll be back soon. it is my first story on this fandom and I have another one developed, that just waits to be shared. I hope you like it and have a good reading.
> 
> find me on twitter: inspiredotto

The inconstancy of life never scared her. After so many losses, hundreds of paths made and redone, volatile days and fragile realities were not monsters in her closet. Edward's loss absorbed part of her soul. Keeping Sabrina in her arms rebuilt any gap that might exist in her spirit. However, at that moment, burying her niece, there was nothing that could soothe such pain. An eternal burden, an irreparable loss, an unhealed wound. The cry didn't relieve the darkness that took over her chest. Having Hilda and Ambrose was comforting, seeing them by your side brought a little peace, but it didn't even reach your heart. However, the illusion was still something. Marie was missing. Maybe she knew what to say to keep it in her chest until the pain was just a rustle, a ringing in her ears.

The academy occupied her and Hecate, the mother of darkness, was the center of all her worship, where she spent all her time, in the tireless wait to be filled, overflowed, to feel alive again. She also prayed for death, for the eternal relief of an exhausted mind and a tired old body, but they, all those children, young wizards, needed a mother.

Between a prayer, a shout and a glass of whiskey, she wandered between realities in the hope that it was just a nightmare, that perhaps it was still batbat, that she had not released them in that past that now seemed so distant. At least there would still be some hope for the Spellmans. For Sabrina.

A small howl caught his attention, wandering and disoriented whispers, repeated words from the upper floor. A prayer. A prayer to Hecate that for some reason was being brought to her. As if walking was painful, she got up and shuffled up the stairs, not afraid of what she might find. Whatever the danger, she had lived long.

She pushed the door gently with one shoulder, looking for the living room. She had prepared it for Lilith after giving birth and it remained intact, she never said to undo it, reason could not say, after all. His brow furrowed when the slender figure of the demons' mother appeared. His thick black hair fell over his face, which was also covered by thin hands. Knees bent and the same black and red cloak of yore. The sob was notable for the way his shoulders fell and the hiss escaped his lips. Poor Lilith, thought Zelda. She too had lost a lot, maybe everything.

The witch had compassion and entered in silence, with her feet almost floating so as not to frighten the queen, who at that moment seemed so small and fragile, begging for death while blaming herself for the murder of her son. Zelda did not understand, but did not judge, no one but her would know better than Lucifer would be able to raise that child. It was for the greater good, for the good of all. At least, it was what she preferred to believe while kneeling before the demon.

Undecided hands trembled in the direction of the dark strands, placing them back, wrapping their fists in an attempt to get her to face her. There was a line in their brief relationship with Lilith that was crossed the moment they shared a birth, so there was no reason to hesitate to touch it. At first it was confusing; the woman in front of her became more desperate, a blush covering her entire chest, her hands falling from her damp eyes, the blue ones blurred by tears and the green ones sharing her pain. Lilith neither questioned nor resisted, resting her head on Zelda's chest while the redhead caressed her lovingly, giving kisses on the top of her head, patting her on the back, not unlike how she used to do with Sabrina after a day.

Lilith wept for millennia of pain and suffering, releasing a set of emotions that she did not imagine to contain. She wept for what she suffered at the hands of the false god and her first husband, Adam. She wept for the difficulties she spent wandering so alone, she wept for having met Lucifer, she wept for having loved him. She cried for Adam, for Sabrina, for her baby. For all those whose life was disgraced for having found it. She cried pain, regret, longing, resentment and love. Yes, love. She was able to love and discovered it while the old witch comforted her on the carpet in an improvised room to protect her, a place built by the Spellmans to give her some comfort after giving birth, while waiting for the next step.

At some point, Zelda's face also flooded, not only with her own pains, but with raw meat and compassion. Lilith clung to her lap as if she had never had that contact before. She sobbed and tightened her clothes, kneading and wetting them with thick tears. Her chest ached, the drink was no longer enough to stop her suffering and confuse her memories. Reality would always fall and in that instant, it fell. Sabrina is gone forever. Mambo Marie did not exist. She had lost a lot and still needed to digest the fact that she felt violated again. He would live a life of fears, trauma and without his niece. There was a lot to cry about.

Lilith inhaled the air deeply as she laid her face on Zelda's palm, feeling a connection bubbling up at that touch. Her eyes searched hers and all he found were closed, tight orbs, slightly stained lashes and an expression of pain that broke his heart twice as much. She touched her on impulse and was lost in the softness of her cheek, circling her with his thumb. Zelda Spellman was a good person. She welcomed her, saved her a few times, took care that everything was in place and faced hell so that she could have peace with her son. And she asked for nothing in return. Despite her rigid stance and Hilda always invading her rooms to see if they needed anything, she could see how Zelda was involved in everything and took charge of her protection, as if she were someone really important. That kindness touched her. The woman didn't deserve such a miserable life of pain and suffering. At that moment she decided that she would find something to do for her, if she could, if there was space and consent. It was remarkable how people passed by the witch, printing her marks without permission, violating her trust and even her body, her soul. Lilith would no longer be one.

When the redhead opened her eyes, she caught the queen looking at her with curiosity and frowned in confusion, but softened when she sketched a small smile, understanding the embarrassment of the situation.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here without warning, is that I-"  
“Shh, it's not necessary. I understand”, she assured, stroking the queen's hand.  
"You see?" The eyes were of a meekness that Zelda did not yet know.  
"I understand. It's the only place you've been with him, all the memories are here… And, it still smells like a baby”  
"Yes" hiccupped, placing one hand gently on the abdomen. "Thank you"  
“Don't thank me, Lilith. This place will be intact. I will cast a protective spell and everything remain as it is, I promise. You are welcome to come when you want and there's no need to warn ”

A comforting silence fell over they and the embarrassment dissipated as they rose with all the modesty they could, helping each other. The cold air in the room was replaced by a warmth that enveloped it, bringing warmth, almost like something magical and thick enough to be touched. Zelda couldn't help but rest her hand on Lilith's column as she led her outside.

“Would you like a drink, coffee? Maybe a cigarette” she asked when he noticed that he still had his cigarette holder on his finger.  
“Oh, I appreciate it, but I need go back to hell. Things are… Difficult, if I may say so ”  
"Lucifer…?"  
"He's incapable of disturbing me or any living and dead soul" replied for the first time with a feline gleam crossing her eyes "Faustus?"  
"Prudence took care to dismember him enough" she laughed a little, quietly, but enough to make her wonder if it was too early to laugh at anything. The way Lilith asked about her attacker when asked about hers, did not go unnoticed by Zelda either.  
"Good" just said when he found himself walking through the front door of the academy. "Thanks again, sister Zelda"  
"Just Zelda, ok?" and Lilith nodded, her face calmer, her eyes still sunken.

Not knowing how to say goodbye, the demon just went down the steps, looking over her shoulder to give a brief nod, the knot in her stomach loosening enough that she could breathe. Perhaps it was a friendship. It didn't seem so bad to have someone... The only friend she had was Sabrina. Approaching her aunt seemed like the right thing to do.  
Zelda felt loneliness weigh on her shoulders again, silently wishing that the queen of hell would return as soon as possible. Somehow, she felt that they understood each other and there were no judgments. It was the first day since it happened, that she felt good, understood and cared for in some way. Perhaps it was Hecate's wish, so she made her hear Lilith's murmurs. The truth is, it didn't matter, she needed to feel more of the gentle adrenaline rushing through her veins, the warmth of those gentle hands on her cheek. There was an honesty in the woman that would not let her lie, not in such a fragile and understandable state, where they shared the same pain.  
The emptiness suddenly seemed less frightening. And life gained a small spark of hope.


	2. Chapter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy that you are enjoying it, there's a lot in my heart to put here. and my beta has finally seen caos and can revise my texts, so I’ll fix it soon. 
> 
> It takes me a while because I'm writing an AU and I'll post soon. good reading and so many kisses!!

Zelda woke up in the middle of the night to hear Sabrina's voice, the sweet and young timbre sounding cheerful as it used to be. Her chest hurt and she wanted to cry, scream, run to Hilda's room, but she couldn't. She jumped out of bed and put on the shoes she had worn on the street earlier and wrapped herself in an overcoat used to leave on the rack, teleporting to her office at the academy. Poured a drink while thinking about the headache that had started to throb. She was Zelda Spellman and she never got sick, a witch was always healthy, but the pain spread, leaving her eyes small and her mood sour. 

She reviewed the lesson plan for the week and separated some books would use, taking longer than necessary for each task. It was already her third drink and fifth cigarette when she decided to walk around, check the children in their rooms, to leave and pretend to Hilda that she had slept like the dead. That was when she crossed the door to Lilith's room, after all, that place could already be considered hers and there was no harm in that. Her face showed disappointment when she opened the door and saw it empty, perhaps expected to find the queen there again. 

Feeling like an intruder, she slipped inside and walked around the place, smelling the sweet scent of the demoness and the delicate baby lotion, a faint smell of talcum powder and chamomile. Intimately wished she had spent more time with them, but things were so confusing and time was so short. With sad eyes and an exploding head, she sat in the armchair, relaxing her back on the cushions, remembering how happy and alive Lilith looked in that room. Despite all her concern, she couldn't help but notice how younger she had become after giving birth; soft skin, dark hair like the night, flushed cheeks, bright blue eyes... She sighed, remembering when the queen was the entity she most adored in her childhood and adolescence, where she didn't imagine even the slightest of what would happen. 

With closed eyelids, she heard the door click and opened her eyes, being flooded by the figure of Lilith entering the room. The queen would have been frightened had she not already felt the strong energy of the witch when she teleported outside the room. Zelda almost startled, but stopped herself, just scratching the cushion. 

"Zelda" she said puzzled, tilting her face to the side as she used to do when she was confused, a detail already noticed by the redhead. 

"Sorry, Lilith. I was just walking and suddenly, resting here" was embarrassed, didn't want the other one to feel uncomfortable with her meddling. 

"No problem, I could feel it when I arrived" she said as walked around the room, picking up his black and red sleeping dress, with long fluffy sleeves. There was something different about her posture, as if she were stronger or more closed. Still, it didn't sound unpleasant or sarcastic, she treated Zelda with warmth and as if were nothingm started to slide hellish outfit out of her body.

Zelda's eyes widened briefly, decorum making her look at the floor, but not before a brief unintended look, damn her photographic mind at that moment. While Lilith got dressed, Zelda replayed the capture in her brain. A pearly silk nightgown hugging the bony body, but with lots curves. If sin had a form, it would be this, she concluded to herself. 

"You're afraid to forget?" 

"I beg you pardon?" Zelda asked as she emerged from her illusion. 

"Sabrina. Are you afraid to forget what she was like...? The sound of her voice, the laughter..." she swallowed, sitting down in the armchair next to her, smoothing her clothes with some affection, feeling the baby's perfume. 

"I" she took a deep breath "I forgot all the details of those I lost, the memories mix and at some point it gets confused" 

"Adam lives in my memories. There are none of those records about him, just the moments of his brief life here, with me" her intention was not to make the conversation melancholy, but there it was, exposing her pain to Zelda. 

"I didn't accept Sabrina's death," he blurted out as a confession. 

"it's take time, so they say" 

"No, I really didn't accept it and my mind works day after day to bring her back" 

"Zelda..." "I know, but we did so many things, Lilith. You brought Mary back, Sabrina cheated death so many times, and Hilda... I always believed that death would be the least worrying among Spellmans, but since Edward's death everything is so uncertain." 

"You need to understand that Sabrina sacrificed herself. Would the universe tolerate tricks, accept being deceived? Would the void have been defeated if she survived? There are many questions. I was afraid." the last word sounded bitter in her mouth, she usually didn't admit to being afraid. 

"I understand and I don't judge you for that, but-" she hesitated, pressing fingers to her forehead, closing eyes briefly. "It's Sabrina, my niece... my daughter" looked up again, sharing pure understanding with the queen, who just shook her head and pursed her lips in thought. 

"We could find a way" 

"We?" 

"Oh, Zelda Spellman, if you're going to be a fool trying to cheat death and the universe, I'm not going to let you do it alone" rolled her eyes like it was nothing, but she intimately knew that was everything. Zelda wanted to cry. 

"Thanks" 

"No, you did a lot for me. Don't thank" 

"How are you?" Zelda asked, not wanting this conversation to be just about her feelings. 

"Anesthetized" replied sincerely, stunned that in fact someone questioned with interest how she felt. "There is so much pain, regret and a bloodlust that doesn't pass. I should have kept Lucifer under my control in hell, I would certainly feel better torturing him for all eternity" 

"Hell was also his domain and with so many misogynistic demons, it wouldn't be long before you were betrayed" she raised his eyebrows, raising a small smile to give Lilith confidence. 

"Exactly" returned the brief smile, smoothing a blanket on the arm of the armchair, rambling in the moments when she wrapped her baby in that piece of cloth. Zelda wanted to comment that she looked different, that motherhood had done a great deal in her soul, she looked more human and never imagined that they have an entire conversation without exchanging barbs, but she kept it to herself, not wanting to be unpleasant or corner the demon. 

"Do you want to tell me what's more in your heart?" the question took her by surprise, causing to frown in confusion, staring at the black-haired woman. "What I mean is, you seem to be carrying more pain that Sabrina's death" oh, she understood. 

"Well," she pondered for a moment, deciding whether to go into the subject, but not justified in lying, she doesn't feel the need. "I was betrayed, I-" took a deep breath "My heart is broken, simplifying" the smile on her sad face. 

"Mambo Marie?" Lilith reached for Zelda's glass, lifting to her lips while keeping her eyes on hers. That was... intimate. 

"Yes" blinked quickly "or rather saying, Baron Samedi" 

"What?" she couldn't contain her surprise.

"Just like anyone who's been through my life, used me to be where needed to be" the pain throbbed in her head, making her hiss under her breath. 

"Men" again, rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry that you feel that way, Zelda. I'm not the best person to say anything, since my background is terrible. Can I do something for you?" she had never asked that question and was from the heart. 

"It's okay, Lilith, but I appreciate the concern anyway" accepted the glass when the queen returned it and, without realizing it, put her lips over the other woman's lipstick stain, it was too late to deflect. She sipped the rest of the liquid and felt how her attention was on it. 

"Do you look in pain?" she straightened up, checking Zelda. 

"Yes? A headache that I still can't understand. I haven't been sick in so long" 

"Let me see," she said, standing up, walking to the back of Zelda's chair. 

There was no time for refusal, a second later the queen's thin fingers were at the point of her pain. It started with light pressure, falling down the sides, going up to eyebrows, tracing between her eyes, caressing temples. Magic flowed from those magic fingers and Zelda forgot her own name, letting go. Lilith didn't utter any spells, just caressed, letting the energy flow, small, delicate strands of light coming out of her fingertips and working on Zelda. The pain vanished and relaxation took hold of the youngest, who hissed loudly enough to sound like a moan and it affected Lilith more than she would have liked. While Zelda kept her eyes closed, Lilith could look at the features of her face without being caught staring. There were some lines that betrayed the woman's age, the soft pink skin matching the ginger color of her hair. The lips were... Lilith gasped, letting out her breath as she caught herself imagining the taste and texture, what it felt like to have the dark lipstick smearing her face. Even with her eyes closed, Zelda felt her gaze travel every corner of her face, lingering in her mouth, which made her lips part and exhale subtly, trying to focus on anything but Lilith's curiosity. The act warmed not only his body, but also his heart. The care was explicit and in a thousand years she did not imagine that she would share a moment like this with the mother of the demons. It was insane. 

"Improved?" Lilith asked too close and for a second Zelda thought she was going to be kissed, but the kiss never came. Would she have refused or? 

"A lot. Thank you," she replied awkwardly, feeling the blush rise in her chest as she watched the woman walk away, returning to her chair. 

"You need to rest, clear your mind and just sleep. I made it a habit to sleep and it helps me to think clearly. I still think it's a deadly but necessary weakness" they both laughed.

"You're right, but it's so difficult when I'm at home and here, well, there's always something to do"

"But there is nothing to do here" raised an eyebrow.

"What you mean?"

"That you can and should rest, I will be under watch" implied her smiling.

"On here?" he asked and saw the queen nod. "Oh no, I'm fine" replied quickly as Lilith reached for her hand and literally pulled it off the couch, leading her to the bed with a care she didn't have.

"Don't be stubborn, Spellman" pressed her shoulders to sit down and stepped aside to make room for her, seeing her reluctant to take off her shoes and rise completely still, still unsure of what she was doing.

"I'm not going to sleep" closed his face, leaning back on the pillow, seeking a comfortable position to rest as Lilith wanted, but without relaxing enough to sleep in the woman's presence. Two minutes later Lilith was stretching her legs on the bed and carefully arranging her pillow so Zelda wouldn't wake up.

She would not invade the witch's privacy, however much she wanted to spend the night in that room, she would not cross that line without Zelda's permission. Before leaving, she cast a protective spell so that no noise would bother her and made sure there was a jar of water for when she woke up. Her hand seemed to want to touch the strawberry-colored strands, but she stopped herself, unsure of her actions. Asleep she looked harmless.

"What a strange creature you are, Zelda Spellman"

She whispered to herself, not noticing that the priestess had woken up in the middle of the process and was now watching her leave. Zelda felt in pieces, it was so strange to have someone taking care of her and not the other way around. The awareness didn't last long, she trusted Lilith and just slept.


End file.
